17th February 2011 - 15:19 | London UK, London |
OK so the relationship has been going downhill over the last ten years. On the surface it all looks fine. We are the picture of a happy couple. We don't argue, we have a well behaved kids, it looks serene. But the more observant will notice that we don't make any physical contact with each other. That's the only outward sign that there is anything not quite right. Because in truth, we do not have a physical relationship these days. It started out in the usual way, the sex dropped from nightly to weekly. That then went to monthly and soon it was even less frequent. I'm not sure what she expected me to do. The constant rejection was pretty hurtful. So I started looking elsewhere. Initially, the idea of an affair was too big a step to contemplate, so I resorted to paying for sex. It provided an outlet for pent up frustration but was not a long term solution. Then, cautiously, I started signing up to dating sites. I was always totally honest with anyone I contacted. Many times this meant that it went no further than an initial email, but there were a few that expressed interest. A small flurry of brief encounters resulted. They fizzled out mainly because the logistics of maintaining a secret relationship were huge. By now the relationship with my wife was pretty much stagnant. I hung in there because the divorce costs would be dire. Sex ? none for around three years.
Which brings us to the present. I've had enough. I know that things will be tough on the financial front, but I also know that there are still women out there who might find me attractive and with whom I could have a happy relationship. So I'm going to come clean and tell her that the time for negotiation is over. She's had a good chunk of my life and has pissed it up the wall. I'm leaving.
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