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The opposite of doofus sperm... and I don't mean the IMF chief!

24th April 2012 - 19:59 | Cambridge UK, Cambs, Fens, escaping the ds | Age 40

Okay so I am sometimes asked, now that we know how vile doofus sperm is, what is the opposite? What substance has the power to attract women?

Men don't understand that women subconsciously, or sometimes even overtly, appreciate the qualities of the man BEFORE they evaluate their reactions to a man's seed.

Men who can't spell, or express themselves syntactical proficiency, are tainted by the whiff of doofus. Unfair, well, perhaps, and perhaps not. Women love smarts. And men claiming smarts is the most ridiculous thing on earth to behold. You've got it, or you haven't.

It's so true that poor spelling and limited capacity for expression makes a man's semen so much less attractive. Imagine that stuff shooting over a woman....she doesn't welcome it, she wants it OFF HER BODY! AWAY FROM HER! ICK! NO-RISK-OF-CONCEIVING-BY-THE-DOOFUS!! EX-TER-MI-N-ATE! Imagine the voiceover.... like a Dalek.

Women judge the quality of the semen, as they do everything else about men, in his spelling, grammar, capacity to express, breadth of experiences.... all of this is part of the deal.

Conversely if you express yourself well, with a twist of outrage, unmasking the social hypocrisies in amusing and provocative ways - like this - then it's superfluous to assert you're well-educated, well-traveled, well-balanced. Because it will be clearly conveyed in what you write and the way that you do it. Women's reasoning is very sound.

Men always want shortcuts, because it takes so much effort to seduce attractive women...but they can't do it if they haven't got it. And women hate shortcuts...because they feel that the time spent on them by men is directly proportional to their sexual, and other, value.

Next, another no-no. Men who are wusses, or whiners, or pussies, well they smell, if not of doofus sperm, of pussy-whipping. Women may enjoy the friendship and reliable support of such men - and I mean, no-exit, friend-zone- friendship, but they despise other women's pussy-whipped men as lovers. No way, Jose.

Next, conversely, men who are aggressive, even thuggish, and autistically arrogant are mildly interesting from a purely ovarian viewpoint, but their childish, unstable and threatening reality is so challenging that they're truly intolerable. Those awful Porsche-driving pricks! So divorced from human experience, so absorbed in their own minds that they are probably like DSK...i.e. they show a propensity to attempt harassing interactions with female subordinates. Or to drive so fast that they mow down other people.

That's totally classless and pathetic. If a man can't be responsible with others' lives, and if he can't attract women without exercising patronage or direct force, he's still a doofus no matter what his background.

On the other hand, dominating and using a woman, by eliciting her full, voluntary participation in her own ravishing, well, that's in a different league.

In this quest, humility only goes so far. A non-doofus must be humble in certain areas...but he cannot be falsely modest about his skills and allure. For example, you know and I know that I'm arrogant in key ways. As all truly masterful people are. As long as you walk the walk precisely, and know the limits of this arrogance, then it's part of the deal.

It's already clear to me that there's nobody who posts on this site who is more successful than me at meeting women, unpalatable though that fact is to some of the wanna-be alpha males reading this. Their hackles rise to defend their imaginary turf - well, maybe not all imaginary in the case of the boyfriends of the two ladies I've already met - but we keep it quiet. I laugh at their infantile attempts to posture and intimidate with their hostile emails.

Their literally impotent raging just fuels more of my amusement. Meantime, as usual, women are more realistic about this and for them, there is no doubt whatsoever that I deliver. They don't even have to meet me to know this. They already know how much fun it would be to go on a date with me and they can sense how exquisitely I kiss and touch a woman who attracts me, how intensely I ravish her.

So now, we have almost reached the apotheosis of today's monologue.

The opposite of doofus sperm is found in the various aspects of mastery. This is evident in the writing, the confidence, the knowledge, the self-awareness of a masterful man. His seed is very desirable indeed. It is hot, rich, creamy, thick, and very tasty. For a woman who is in touch with her inner being, this elixir is to be elicited and savoured. Everywhere. For her, it feels fantastic to make a master shoot his load into her, over her, on her. If you're a truly masterful man, WOMEN WANT YOUR SEED! And why wouldn't they...that's the whole point.

So. That's the opposite of doofus sperm. Cultivate it, and you will cultivate successful relationships with women. But, if you whine, plead, shout insults...they'll know, sadly, you're still a doofus. And know that women have only one policy towards the doofus sperm...

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