24th August 2011 - 22:36 | London UK, Bloomsbury | Age: 46
I would love to pick up my phone and hear a cultured voice - think Joanna Lumley/Jenny Agutter/Mariella Frostrup/Honor Blackman and all points in between - murmuring lewd things in my ear; either telling me what she'd like me to do to her or what she's presently doing to herself.
I know there are women out there who will engage in this sort of fun just for the thrill of it - I've chatted to a few in my time - so please don't contact me with the number of your premium rate call centre.
Also, I'm not actually in London, so I won't try to pressurise you into meeting up with me if you take the plunge and dial my number.
(If replying please put the name of one of the celebrities I've mentioned in the subject line of your email so I'll be sure you're not just some vile spam-bot. Thanks.)
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