CrazyOz London UK > Personals > Men seeking women (LTR)

Warning! Read CrazyOz's Safety Tips.

you may laugh or cry, but you will reply

25th September 2013 - 12:12 | London UK, london | Age: 40


In an effort to further my not-putting-out goal, I will not shave and will wear mis-matched socks. Just remember this if you respond to this ad, we go out, and you are having dirty thoughts over dinner. UNSHAVEN/MISMATCHED (just repeat it to yourself. You may be surprised how quickly the mood will disappear)

I will engage you in conversation, perhaps shock you with hilarious stories of my past. I may use "big" words, I will make you laugh, assuming you have a brain and the personality to "get it".

I won't order a salad, nor will I order the most expensive entree. If I am hungry, I will eat.
I may call you the following day. I may not.

On the second date:

I may, in fact, put out. Why? Because I find few people meet/exceed my expectations enough to be granted a second date. I'm not promising I'll shave (kidding).

We will discuss the ridiculous happenings in both of our worlds since the last time we spoke.

I may ask you to leave following copulation. I may snuggle.

Yes, I just typed all of that. Now, here's where the prospect pool will thin accordingly...

YOU MUST BE

funny
driven
single (that means not LEGALLY married)
under 60
over 30
genuine
drug/disease free (everyone knows you can tell if someone has AIDS by looking)
sarcastic
well-mannered, for appearances
able to leave work at work. this implies employment


I AM...

Over one-night stands.

Very comfortable in my skin. Unafraid. Equally unashamed.

Not looking to get married, but maybe over the fuck buddy status.

Able to say "no" and scream "yes".

Calm, collected, logical, rational, politically incorrect, and witty

TOGETHER, WE WILL

bowl
play trivia
act like raging dickheads in public establishments
giggle at midgets
fornicate regularly
discuss books
drink excessively if the mood strikes, and it will. Often
laugh at others and harder at ourselves


WE WILL NOT

yell, argue, at like gigantic three-year-olds when we're upset
be dishonest
care what everyone else thinks
act like something doesn't bother us, when it does
throw low-blows in times of frustration

Oh, and just to make sure I don't attract the wrong type of Lady, here comes what some of you will be dismayed at...

I'm not fat. I'm not the healthiest individual, but I'm not a walking heart attack. If you appear to be more than 4 months pregnant, don't respond

I'm short. I don't care how tall or short you are so long as my girth does not exceed your height.

Bring your A-game
Ad No: 65809 | Views: 525 | Replies: 13 | Report Abuse

Premium ads in this category

Looking for Spanish women, Italians or Portuguese women. - CrazyOz Ad Tall cool professional guy seeking cool girl - CrazyOz Ad Any Girls Up For A Game of Strip Scrabble? - CrazyOz Ad