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This is Andy from 'Diary of a Depressed 44 Year Old Virgin'

13th November 2018 - 18:31 | London UK, London | Age 44


Hi,

I'm Andy, author of the 'Diary of a Depressed 44 year old Virgin' on Crazyoz which has been going strong for nearly 5 years now. If you dont know what I'm talking about, you can find it on 'Secrets and Confessions...'

5 years and nearly 7,500 views later, I've finally decided to take the plunge and post an ad of my own on here. Well, isn't entirely my own idea - someone whose since moved on kindly 'gifted' me the ad as it helped him find someone. I hope its gonna help me too...

I've kept his original ad more or less intact, apart from a few changes where necessary to make it more relevant to my situation. So fingers crossed I get a few replies...


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INTRODUCTION
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I'm okay with chatting to girls generally. But when its to do with anything about sex, the eye contact just feels awkward and embarrassing for me. For this reason, although I'm 44 now, I've never got as far as seeing a woman naked, let alone touching her naked body...

So, I seek a female who'll let me explore her naked body without any distractions whatsoever - no talking, no eye contact, no smiling, no awkward moments. My ideal scenario would be a female who'd act like a realistic lifeless doll - eyes shut and just laying there completely still, like a dummy.

I'd wanna exchange a few emails first, over a few days or so, then when we're both comfortable with each other and the scenario in general, we could text on the phone and arrange a meeting...

Eventually, on a day you'd be free (weekday or weekend, doesn't matter which), you'd invite me to yours, providing your address and door number. Before and after the meeting we'd be in constant contact through text. You'd leave the door open so I could just walk in. You would be in your bedroom, lying face up on your bed, totally naked and eyes shut, completely still, as realistic a mannequin as possible.

I want a meeting where I'd be allowed to take things at my own pace. This is VERY VERY important. Whether I sit and watch your body for 20 minutes or whether I start touching straight away, it would all be up to me. Most importantly, I want to be alone with my thoughts, no sounds, no distractions. Just me and your naked (pretend) lifeless body. After 1-2 hours I'd leave. I might message you afterwards but there would be no talking AT ALL before, during, or straight after the meeting. No 'hellos' or 'goodbyes.'

Its important you're not someone who's easily creeped out, though I hope the fact that I've had a diary on Crazyoz for 4 years will be of some reassurance to you.

Even so, your eyes will be shut and you will feel a stranger breathing over you, watching you, stroking you. At the very least I expect to be allowed to touch, lick, and kiss. Letting me try sex would be amazing (though I probably won't know what to do being a virgin!). However, I'll strictly respect all limits.


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SAFETY & LIMITS:
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I would NOT be looking for anything kinky AT ALL - that's not the point of my ad. I DO NOT WANT to perform bondage, violence, spitting, punching, pissing or anything which might fall under 'S&M.'

Nothing will be used at any stage - whether openly or in secret - that may make you pass out or unaware of what's happening around you. No drugs, no pills, no intoxicants. You will be fully conscious throughout.

There be no filming whatsoever, either in open or in secret. And I would not access any other part of your property apart from the bedroom you were lying down in. Finally, I'm not some sort of madman who will start doing all sorts of weird things or take advantage at your most vulnerable moment. ALL boundaries or limits will be fully discussed through email and respected throughout.

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ABOUT ME
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I'm Andy, author of the 'Diary of a Depressed 44 year old Virgin' which I started in January 2014.

I'm based in Essex. As you will have guessed from my diary - I'm aged 44, a virgin. Average looks and height. Do not smoke, don't do drugs, no diseases. No criminal record and clean-living.Polite, friendly, respectful.

I should also say a big thanks to Crazyoz for allowing the privilege of having a 'Secret Diary' on here for such a long time without any interference from anyone. If there was a way to repay Oz I would, but the least we can do is to spread the good news about this site like he asked.

I'm proud to have nearly 7,500 views and its really been a comfort that so many people read and follow my diary. But ultimately, it hasn't helped me to lose my V-plate yet. And I also realize that if it had been the reverse - a female virgin - the diary would've have lasted more than a week before she found someone to help - it would've been more like 700,000 views by now and 5,000 requests to help. Yep, its so much more harder for guys virgin or not. Anyway, its taken nearly 5 years to get here and create an ad of my own, even if I've borrowed heavily from someone else. Still, I wish I'd done this sooner.

So I'm a regular (though shy) guy. I'm not here to take advantage of someone's property, or to do harm to anyone. This is about me wanting to see a woman naked, for the first time in my life and being able to do this in a quiet, discrete location, alone with my thoughts and away from any distractions.


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WHO I'M LOOKING FOR
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A female from any background. Age 18-40. Up to size 14 max. Any height or body shape, and who can accommodate for a daytime meet (weekday or weekend doesn't matter) lasting 1-2 hours max. I can travel to anywhere in London or the suburbs (Essex, Kent, Surrey etc).


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HAVE I EVER GOT REPLIES TO THIS IN THE PAST?
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As I've said above, the original ad was not my idea. I'm not sure how many replies the other guy got, but he did meet someone in the end. But this is the first time I'm attempting it for myself. Over the past 4 years a few people have replied to my 'Secret Diary' ad but as its just a diary and not a Personals ad, most people just read it without reply and this is why I'm placing an ad here.


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WHO WAS THE GUY WHO 'GAVE ME' THIS AD AND WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM...?
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I don't know him personally of course, but I was contacted by him through my 'Secret Diary' this June offering me this ad.

You may have seen the ad before. He told me he first posted it in June 2015 with the title 'Could you act like a mannequin or doll?' It took him over 3 years to find someone but eventually he did. He suggested I give it a go, and I agreed. Not sure if he uses Crazyoz anymore.


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REPLY
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Girls, I would appreciate it if you could kindly reply with a pic and brief description of you and we'll take it from there. Thanks :)

Andy


Last Updated: 13/11/18 18:30
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