Posted over a year ago | London, Shoreditch
I grew up poor without much money. I left school without any GCSEs. I'm dyslexic, but I have overcome a lot of my difficulties now that I'm older. I always had problems at school, fighting with other girls and boys too that used to make fun of my reading and writing. These days it's a lot easier with computers and spell checking.
Anyway, with my dyslexia stopping me from getting any qualifications at the time and with a burning desire not to be poor, I decided to try pole dancing. I made quite a bit of money from tips, and then one day while at work, a guy at the bar offered me £5000 to sleep with him for one night. I didn’t believe him at first as it was a lot of money. He was being very generous with his tips that night, he kept throwing money at me. He wasn't attractive but he wasn't ugly either. I had a boyfriend at the time, but I knew that he would be upset if I told him that I slept with some other bloke. I thought damn it, I'm going to do this and get the money and I will tell no one. I did it and I felt really bad after. I was disgusted with myself. I felt guilty. I couldn't tell anyone. I was ashamed. I decided to spend a large portion of the money on my boyfriend to relieve me of my guilt. We went on holiday to Spain and we had a great time.
I eventually broke up with my boyfriend and I became a full time escort. I haven’t had a serious boyfriend since. Sometimes punters want me to move in with them. They ask me to become their girlfriend, but I think they probably just want freebies and they will kick me out when they get fed up with me. I have lost my self esteem to be honest. I don’t know if I can ever have a serious relationship again. I have lost all trust.
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