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I'm no priest but I'm no angel either

27th September 2023 - 22:01 | Swindon, Swindon

I'm 72 and neither look or act my age.
I have many fears. But am a formidable threat to anyone who upsets me. I'm physically very strong and defiant against adversity. I have a definitive weakness for older women. But have always been to afraid to ask one for a date. I married late in life to a control freak who to this day is making my life hell. Self righteous and argument. And I've become very aggressive and unsociable. We don't live together and never will. I just want to leave her. And let her get on with it. I don't have the patience any more with her. And to make things worse she's become very forgetful and in her own madness she has no friends and interferes wit86qh other people's lives instead of getting on with her own life.making my life even more aggressive I'm so infuriated because now I feel compelled to stand by her because she has no one else to rely so
Now im her carer. And in my own distraught anxiety of being so unhappy.
I'm even plunged deeper into resentment and anger. I don't have any admirers to help me out when I get low. I'm judged because no one sees what I do to make my wife's life more bearable. I'm standing g by her for what ever years she has left she's 80 and dogged with ill health. And I'm looked down upon as a dislikable person. But I'm stronger than these shits around me and there impunity doesn't stop me from being who I am. Which makes me a good person. I put myself out. I made sacrifices I sacrificed my sanity to make my wife's life livable. All the people who have befriended my wife have been parasites putting there hands out for payment for anything they have ever done for her. And I'm accused of being a monster because of the way I treat these people. What ever I do for anyone I do from the goodness of my heart I can face myself each morning and stand up and feel good about what I do. I'm justified. But people around my wife who have put there hand out for payment what they do for her only infuriates me and I treat them like the worthless scum they are. And I let them know how much I despise them. What comes out of my mouth.im just on saying and don't give a damn about anyone who dares back these creepzoids up. I will never know the touch of another woman because I'm damn near unaprochable. I'm not like. Other men my age. I don't look my age because I don't act my age. Because I don't mix with old aged people who have lost all interest in living. I'm a fighter a rebel against what is expected of me.i make demand on myself which go against what I believe in help those who can't help themselves and those who pretend they care do nothing except talk can go to hell. I'm not an easy man to know let alone understand. I've walked a steady path throughout my life judging those who have judged me from my appearance. I don't dress to impress anyone because the overall picture I give off is I'm me. accept me. or f**k off.its simple mathmatics. I don't biw down to anyone expectations because I know who I am and what I represent. A
nd I don't bow down to any dressed up tart looking to subdue a man with her lies and deceit. I'm me and I insult anyone who believes they are gods amongst us
I will never attract an older lively woman to have the nerve to try and break me down make all what ever I feel inside come to a recognition that I to can be saved
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